Serendipity !

I have been trying my best to forget you. But I have been getting signs - "DO NOT FORGET". I dont know what God wants from me. He wants to give me what I truly wants or He wants to beat the crap out of me. I dont know. I only know the more I try to pull myself away from you, the more I am pushing myself into you. I know nothing is impossible. Forgetting someone isnt impossible either. In my case as well, its not impossible. Very easy to forget if you if I forget to breathe for 10 minutes.

I never knew I could be this weak. But I am. I am getting all the signs that lead me to you. What does this mean?? The songs I dedicated to you, keeps on coming now - be it on FM or on TV. WTF is that?? I am going crazy!! The places we went together keeps on coming when I go anywhere. I cannot live like this. People say run away.. I say run away from what? From who? I can run away from your physical existence but I cannot run away from the memories, those moments. You say delete everything. From HDD I can delete, but help me deleting from my memories!!!!!!

I dont know whats in store for me..I am drowning into your thoughts which seems deeper than ThePacific!

When nothing goes RIGHT !

It is said when everything has to go wrong it shall go wrong! You cannot help it. And thats whats happening with me. Work life sucks. Striving to succeed. Love life sucks! Now enough is enough.. When no one supports. These are time when you get to know who will sustain during the tough times. And right now, no one to support me. "Sab matlabi hain" !!

Life is too short to waste! Earn like hell, enjoy twice of what you earned.. Thats life! And DONT give a damn to ANYONE! People come and go.. DONT care! If you care a lot, people screw you. No one understands true feeling. People laugh if you cry.. People party in 10 days after you die! So all these emotional show - off is just a bluff.. What is real then?? MONEY, FAME, and LUXURY are REAL. People leave you. BUT you can hold back money. Enjoy yourself for you need no one! You have the big bucks, you buy people!! THATS IT..

Be ruthless.. Life will be a roller coaster ride.. NO room for emotion mate..

Work hard, party harder!

When you have to Succeed !

It is said behind every successful man is a woman. I agree. Without a woman you cannot succeed. She is your inspiration to succeed. I have my love that has put me into the path to success. But, my fate was to leave my love for this success. NO success, NO love! That's practical theory, believe it or not. I do believe it. She is my sole reason for existence and I can go to any limits to be with her. But, now.. It seems I am losing all hopes of getting her and like a failure I am accepting this defeat and trying to retreat back - forgetting whatever she did for me, how much she loved me, to what extent she went to love me. I have been selfish to the core and I want to leave her so my pain and stress can come down!

I dont have anything right now.. Except my struggle to succeed.. I dont want to give her these worries everyday and so I wanted to finish it once and for all.. I know it is not going to be easy either for me or her. But this is Life and it teaches you how to live! So I guess we will learn to live without each other but I wont learn to love again.. I loved her gave her my heart and there is no one who can touch that space. She has full command on it ! The day I become a successful businessman, I shall visit her beautiful family and ask - "Tum khush toh ho na?"

Be it today or after couple of year, the only thing that matters to me, is her happiness. Even if my absence can make her happy I am happy! This is not something I am saying because it sounds good. But this is what I feel and I know I can do at times when needed!

I have always been a guy.. Who has a laid back attitude towards life, never serious.. People call me a spoilt brat.. But she changed me completely! "Tujhko jo paaya...Toh jeena aaya!" Today whatever I am and whatever I will be, all because of her. All credit for success goes to her and all blame for failure shall go to me!

I still remember my first mail to you expressing my feelings for you....."I dont know, I wanna follow you tonight.. When the rest of the world with whom I have crossed and have quarreled.." Please wait for me jaan, if you can! I will be right here waiting for you! And I will surely go to get you from this world..

Your Barney! :*